Another popular misconception is that men are only in it for themselves. They just want to blow a load and use a woman to get off. I'd venture to say that the majority of men secretly want to be the best lover that the woman he's with has ever had. So what is stopping him? Partly education, impatience, general lack of sensual awareness, but a bigger factor is the woman herself. There are men who are naturally incredible lovers but ladies, you can prime yourselves to be made love to like a sex goddess. It is a woman's responsibility to know what she needs, what she wants, what she likes and to be able to communicate that clearly to the man that she expects to give it to her.
We women know how to orgasm now. We do it easily and efficiently alone with our toys, often to the exclusion of men who just can't really get it right. It's just easier to get the job done alone. But if you had a partner whose touch set you on fire, who knew every nuance of your body and knew how it changed day to day - even hour to hour - and accommodated that. With whom you felt comfortable taking as long as you needed to to orgasm, who you knew would be more than happy to accept directions even as specific as moving his tongue over 1 millitre to the left and half a centimetre lower and going slower, yes slower, yes that is 토닥이 뜻 perfect... can you go faster now, and harder... will you massage my Gpot at the same time (without breaking pace)? Press harder please, deeper... Having your body worshiped and pleasured by a perceptive and enthusiastic lover is a treat like nothing else, if you had a man with a magic touch who could do this and take you to another world... you'd be more of an enthusiastic participant than an avoider.
Sitting around reading 50 shades of grey and then getting off alone is not going to ever fully satisfy you, nor is your ideal fantasy man going to spring up out of nowhere forcing you from passivity and magically turn you into the sex goddess you know you really are. But YOU can be proactive and learn exactly what your body needs and how to communicate that to a man so that he can do it to you and for you. Yes, even the annoying ones who pester and guilt you and sigh over not getting sex this weekend and seem to turn you off more with every irritating word they say after 10 years of doing the same thing. Men, bless them, are willing to learn and like nothing more than to see us in ecstasy. And you know what? Allowing him to do this to you and for you will bring you closer together emotionally, resentments magically dissolve once ecstatic exchanges come into play. Truly.
There is a movement towards sensual massage for women. Legitimate bodywork from educated and skilled passionate professionals of integrity, that heals emotional wounds, elevates body image, increases responsiveness and sexual interest, libido, invigorates and teaches a woman about her body. Teaches her to have the power to communicate and get her needs met. It is an environment like no other, safe, comfortable environment of exploration where the full focus is on your body and your needs. Pamela Madsen is a very visible pioneer in this movement hosting retreats and workshops, many Tantrikas, Dakas and Dakinis and private practitioners such as myself have been doing it discreetly for a long time - discreetly due to cultural misunderstandings about the nature of sensual bodywork. The time has come where women are waking up, reclaiming their sexuality. They are not playing the victim or passive creature of sexual neglect. We want, crave, and expect sexual satisfaction and amazing intimacy in our lives and realize now that it is up to us to create it.
I predict that within a relatively short period of time, massage for women's sensual awakening and education is going to be as mainstream and considered NECESSARY as vibrators, dildos, sex toys, lingerie and other erotic aids.
"How beautiful your sandaled feet, O prince's daughter! Your graceful legs are like jewels, the work of a craftsman's hands. Your navel is a rounded goblet that never lacks blended wine. Your waist is a mound of wheat encircled by lilies. Your breasts are like two fawns, twins of a gazelle. Your neck is like an ivory tower. Your eyes are the pools of Heshbon by the gate of Bath Rabbim. Your nose is like the tower of Lebanon looking toward Damascus." (Song of Songs 7:1-4)
The sensual exploration of your spouse is an oft un-discovered joy for married Christian couples. This passage in the "Song of Songs" leaves little to the imagination and is a clear example of God's intention for married Christian couples to be free to explore each other openly and unashamed. From her legs to her waist and from breasts to eyes, her lover honors her body one piece at a time. Sensual massage is the deep and exciting touch of your spouse that will bring a new openness in your intimate relationships. For maximum enjoyment, set the mood for your sensual massage together with these mood-making tips.
Through the whole process, stay tuned to each. Talk. Have fun. Listen to their responses and let them guide you. The idea is to gently keep in constant contact with your spouse as you move to different areas of their body. Gently knead and roll their muscles in each area, varying in intensity. Go slow and enjoy your time together. Sensual massage is a gift you can give each other as a Christian married couple. It is a gift that will deepen your communication with each other, your physical intimacy and your sensitivity to each other's needs.